Tuesday, October 26, 2010
His ways are not our ways
Some of my best pondering happens in the early morning, as I get ready for the day ahead. It actually may be my only real thinking, come to think of it. Before all the little peoples wake up, it's so quiet and still. Just me and the Lord. This morning during those sacred moments, a couple of things occured to me. #1 - I HAVE NOT MISSED GOD'S CALL ON MY LIFE FOR FULL-TIME MINISTRY. It turns out, His plan and my idea of what it was going to be were not the same. Imagine that! You see, as a teen, I truly felt the call of God on my life, beckoning me to full-time work for Him. As a singer, I was convinced that this meant I was destined to be the next Amy Grant. (Wow - that dates me!) I really, honestly, wholeheartedly thought that would happen. I was musically blessed, and He had called me, so OF COURSE that is what he would use me for! Duh! So, life has progressed...and I never became that famous Christian artist. Did I miss His leading somewhere along the way? Have I failed His call? These thoughts plagued me numerous times for most of my 20's. Now, I have known for awhile that God's plan for me was not to be a famous singer. I have gone through many years of the heavenly Sculptor chiseling away at my ambitions and sinful pride over my talents. I has been painful. It has been difficult. But I have emerged as a person who realizes that I was forcing my "dreams"into my idea of what His plan was for my life. His ways are different than my ways. His plan was for me to be a Mommy. A Mommy who knows that being a Mommy IS a FULL-TIME ministry. A much higher calling than being a pop-star! This morning as I was thinking about this, I started thinking about the disciples, and other Jewish people in Jesus' time, who TRULY thought His plan was to establish His earthly kingdom. His disciples were with Him ALL the time. They basically LIVED together for those 3 years of His earthly ministry. They heard Him preach, witnessed the miracles, and saw His service to all He encountered. And they still got it all wrong. His plan was different than their idea of His plan. So, it is really not so strange that I got His plan a little confused. The disciples did, and they were right next to Him! It just shows our human, sinful nature that we always try to shape it into something that benefits us in some way. His plans benefit Him. His ways are not our ways. They are better. I have 5 incredible little people to disciple and lead to His throne. And as all Mommy's know - this ministry is totally full-time.
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What an inspiration that was! I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to have taught with you - what fun we had. I'll never forget 7th period dress up and selling them the left overs from the musicals. It's funny, I have been wrestling with a lot of those feelings lately myself. Why did God choose me to become a widow? Does he have anyone else for me? What does He want me to do when I retire in 2014. I am still doing the MK but not as excited as I used to be about the business. Is that God's way of slowly closing a door to open a window. I'm finally involved in a WONDERFUL, AWESOME, LOVING church and am singing and playing the piano. I'm getting the bug about teaching again and often think..."I wish I lived closer to Kirstyn so I could pick her brain on this (and give her drama stuff too - I"m getting to it :) )
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting your thoughts - Yes, His ways are not our ways, but they are soooo much richer!
Oops- I meant getting the bug about teaching piano again
ReplyDeleteYou're awesome, friend! Love this post, and glad you're posting here with your ponderings since my house is as loud as yours and so makes telephone conversations impossible! So true about how we're in full-time ministry . . . Can't get much more full-time than 24/7 now, can it? Love you!
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